Why the death of MCA hurts so much

The world lost Adam (MCA) Yauch on Friday 4th May. Unless you’re a Beastie Boys fan this may not mean much. I get it, celebrities die like the rest of us, but this one hit me hard.

I’ve been reading so many blogs, Facebook comments, forum posts and commentary about it and it seems we BB fans are pretty similar. Most of us have loved them since the 80’s. They’ve provided the soundtrack to many life experiences. We matured. They matured. We grew up, together.

Adam Yauch and the Beastie Boys affected my life because it’s through them that I went on the discover and explore the worlds of hip hop and punk. Their music sustained me. It was my lifeline when I was living in a strange land. It was the soundtrack to my teens, twenties, thirties. I waited with baited breath for new releases and listened to the old stuff over and over. It stings to think there will be no more of Yauch’s gritty, gravelly lyrics. Yeah, there’s been tears. Lots of them.

I was thinking about why this death in particular is so hard and I think I’ve come up with a reason, or at least the fragile beginnings of one. As we get older we need to start coming to terms with the fact that losing people, the ones that have influenced us, the ones who have shaped us, even the ones we never even knew, is going to be becoming a regular occurrence. It’s life, yes. Death walks hand in hand with life, but that doesn’t make it fair and it doesn’t make it hurt less. Adam was only 10 years older than me and the idea that he – someone who gave so much to the world – is gone, is a thought that scares the shit out of me. It makes me question my legacy and what I will leave behind. It makes me confront my own mortality.

I think about a world without MCA in it and it doesn’t seem fair. Cancer is such an asshole.

Rest in Peace Adam.

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