I pretty much always wanted to be a writer. As a kid, I loved to read. The library was my favourite place in the school (apart from the Canteen) and I used to savour the experience of lugging home my book bag chock full of books about horses or princesses or running dogs named Spot. One of my earliest memories of school was reading Mr Men books in the library by myself. I always felt comfortable being alone and I guess by reading a book I could never be lonely.

I used to write the best stories. Totally naive and without any logical premise but these stories had imagination and wonder and people thought they were good. “You’re a great writer!” they’d say, which filled me with confidence. This confidence and their belief in me is probably the reason that I decided that I could actually be a writer. “I’m a great writer.” I believed it. Some days I still believe it but most days, I don’t.

Writing can be a real tooth and nail struggle. I love it but I fight it all the time. I fight sentences that aren’t quite right or a plot that doesn’t feel genuine, and I often get discouraged by the word counts of other writers. Perfection and writing the perfect piece of anything often leads to my biggest mental blocks.  Perfection is the most paralysing, demoralising, unattainable quality. You sit and pray, despite knowing that you’ll probably never write a perfect sentence but you stare at that blank screen and make deals with all the deities that one of them will at least grant you the power to be more than mediocre.

“There’s no such thing as perfect writing, just like there’s no such thing as perfect despair.” Haruki Murakami.

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I enjoy reading before I go to bed. Unfortunately this night-time ritual has been hijacked by my obsession with playing games like Mah Jong and Bejewelled on my iPhone (not exactly relaxing at all!). In an attempt to get out of this bad habit I thought I’d take part in the “Slow Readers Book Club” which starts on March 4th. It’s not about how fast or slow you read – the idea behind the project takes its cue from the “slow” movement where you try to reconnect with what you’re doing, taking time to reflect and renew.

The first book we’re reading is Half-Broke Horses – something I wouldn’t generally read if it was up to me but that is what this is all about. Discovering new things, opening up to new experiences. It’s going to be fun! If you want in, check out this blog post and let me know (in the comments) if you’re taking part.

I love these so much! I’m going to save my pennies so I can buy one at some point. Letters are my thing – I collect old letters (my oldest one is from 1811) and I love writing them too. You can grab one of these from LOOKAjewelry, just in time for Valentine’s Day

While I’m not an overly superstitious person I have a thing for horseshoes. I’m not sure where this came from as I can’t recall being surrounded by them as a child or anything. They’ve just always symbolised luck and opportunity and I’ve always thought that having one, or even better finding one, would be especially fortuitous. So when something caught my eye on the black asphalt of the Woolies carpark a few weeks ago I got excited.

There behind my back tyre was a pretty ordinary looking horseshoe (snapped off a pair of earrings I think). I was so happy to find it that I put it in my pocket and forgot all about it til yesterday. I must have showed it to my sister several weeks ago and left it in her car. As we were driving home from the hospital after visiting our Nanna (who had a heart attack two weeks ago) Mandy noticed the horseshoe and told me to get it out of  her (insert expletive here) car. She’s had some bad luck recently and it appears that she blames it on the horseshoe. So sure was she that her bad run of luck was the fault of this innocuous piece of metal, that she wound down her window and flung it dramatically from the car.

What happened next was so freaking awesome that I wish you were all there to witness it.

So, window open, she flings the horseshoe out. A blink of an eye later, it shoots back inside the car and LANDS ON MY SHOULDER!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’m in the passenger seat, mouth agape, laughing hysterically that the horseshoe came back to me! It landed on my freaking shoulder for goodness sake! Mandy, although laughing, was obviously quite perturbed by this. After all wouldn’t you be a little insulted if a lucky horseshoe chose someone else to bestow its luck upon? I know I would.

I took the horseshoe up to the newsagents this morning while I checked our lotto ticket for the $20 million draw. We didn’t win but I think this might be due to the fact that this particular newsagency has a lot of other ‘good luck’ symbology on the counter (like buddhas and ceramic four leaf clovers) which I believe canceled out the luck of my horseshoe. Next time I’ll choose a newsagent that is not so into the hocus pocus. Winner!

Making truffles in 35°C heat is not a fun thing. Thankfully Tony was around to help me which made the whole process pretty quick! We made about 50 little truffles, each plonked into a cute metallic foil cup, as a sweet Christmas treat for my family. We followed this recipe and they turned out quite delicious!

One of the presents I made this year was a Birthday Book. I thought it would come in handy for my Mum, Aunty and Sister to keep track of the ever-increasing birthdays that we need to remember each year. Of course it could just as easily double as a calendar if you so desired.

I downloaded page templates from Nichole Heady, cut them all out and glued them onto some lovely patterned heavier guage scrapbooking paper. Although not quite cardboard, this stuff was rigid enough to be a good, sturdy page (I’m not sure what the gsm was). I went to Big W looking for a couple of metal curtain loops to thread through all the pages as a fastener and a hook but they didn’t have any. Instead I found a couple of cheap keyrings, took the rings off, and used those. For the other book I just used a patterned bulldog clip.

I made a label for each book, inspired by the lovely work of Amy Moss of eatdrinkchic.com. Amy offers wonderful, free, templates, labels, envelopes and other cool things. I nabbed an image from her and put it on a round label, cut them out and stuck them to the front.

This project involved me cutting 75 pages – it took a while and by the end of it I was very happy for it to be over. But I think they turned out quite nicely.

Jasper can be a very long cat. Especially when she’s hot. She can take up half the length of my desk, and even though she is skinny, with her increased fanning tail movement she can appear larger than she really is. I don’t mind having her so close, even though this office gets so hot in the afternoon when the sun is setting. I think she just likes sitting up here looking at the fish and being close to her Mumma. Sweet old girl.

Benny looking in through the magically festive tinselled door

How was your Christmas? I hope it was wonderful. We had a great day and were very spoiled with some lovely presents from the family. I made a few gifts this year and I’ll put some photos up of those over the next few days. I like making gifts and I hope the people that I give them to enjoy them. I always love getting handmade stuff – it’s nice to know that someone has put in the thought and effort to make something from scratch.
Things have been a little hectic around here with various dramas. It’s always comical how things go wrong in multiples, like karma or God or whoever just puts the boot in to see if you sink or swim. Luckily for me I’m still swimming. Finger’s crossed it continues.

x

My brother Pete got me the teacup from T2 that I was drooling over. It is so pretty and delicate – I love it. I was so desperate to use it, and it’s been so hot here that I didn’t want to have a hot drink in it, so I had a cup of lemonade. Best.Lemonade.Ever.

In December 1996 I’d been living in Vancouver for 10 months. I was facing the reality of spending Christmas away from my family and friends and to be honest there wasn’t very much to look forward to. I had no money, the place where I was living was pretty ordinary and I was terribly homesick. I was pretty happy when, after life’s usual twists and turns, it was decided that we’d drive from Vancouver to Toronto to spend the festive season with family.

Rather than face the full-on brutal force of the Canadian Rockies we decided we’d drive across the States instead. The car that was going to get us the 4492km from coast to (almost) coast was an old brown Toyota station wagon that we borrowed from a Moroccan acquaintance with questionable scruples. Unfortunately the car, like the owner, left a lot to be desired – it had no heater and no stereo. We were desperate to get out of the city though so it could have been held together with duct tape – we were going to ride that baby as far as possible. To keep warm I spent the whole journey in a sleeping bag. I even drove in it, albeit awkwardly. When I wasn’t driving (which didn’t seem very often) I was curled up in the fetal position, cocooned inside the sleeping bag on the passenger seat. I didn’t sleep much over those 4 days – the NoDoz saw to that – but I was also petrified of the skills of the other person who shared driving responsibilities. When you’re crawling through the Rocky Mountains at 2am during a blizzard and you don’t trust the person that is driving, you don’t get much sleep.

There are 5 things that kept me alive during this trip – Irish Cream coffee from various truck stops and petrol stations across the US, my sleeping bag and my walkman with the Beastie Boys albums “Check Your Head” and “Ill Communication” on tape (yes, cassette tapes).

I’d been listening to the Beastie Boys since the late 80’s when I heard (You Gotta) Fight for Your Right (To Party) on Take 40 Australia with Barry Bissell. From there I developed and nurtured a long-lasting crush on Adam Yauch. When I left Australia in Feb 1996 among the very few things I brought with me were two Beastie Boys tapes that I dubbed from CD’s borrowed from a music library in Fremantle.

These two albums were my constant companions during this 4 day road trip. They became interwoven with the surroundings and although you wouldn’t think that the Beastie Boys urban and chaotic style of rap lends itself to the desolate prairie landscape or green pastures of rural Wisconsin you’d be wrong. Listening to music that I knew and loved made the idea of crossing a huge expanse of land, tailgated by a blizzard, in a car with no heat, that much more bearable.

Although the above map isn’t the greatest you can see the route we took in pink highlighter. I’ve included a few spots of interest…

#1 – The beautiful state of Montana. When we drove through it on the way to Toronto it was dark and the aforementioned blizzard was on our tail. I’ve never been more afraid than when we drove through the Rockies that night. So may cars and trucks were in the snow banks on the side of the road, their hazard lights turning the accident sites bright orange for a second then pitch black. Bright orange, pitch black. I stayed sane by listening to Check Your Head on and off for most of the night. I especially remember listening to Jimmy James (track 1) as our headlights caught columns of bright white snow drifting across the road in front of us. I was dreaming of dawn.

“People how you doing? There’s a new day dawning
For the earth mother it’s a brand new morning
Such a long while there’s been such a longing
But now the sun is shining let’s roll back the awning”

#2 – I lost control of the car somewhere on Highway 90 in North Dakota. I was driving along, listening to Sabrosa (track 8, Ill Communication) when all of a sudden I hit a patch of black ice, spun the car and ended up in the snow bank in the middle of the road, facing the wrong way. I remember being scared afterwards but I don’t remember feeling anything while it was happening, except perhaps that the world was traveling in slow motion. Thankfully no other cars were involved, our car was fine and no-one was hurt. A lovely couple helped us out of the snow bank and we were on our way. For the next few hours I stayed curled up in shock on the backseat – next to our urban goth passenger who insisted on wearing white cowboy boots to compliment his all black ensemble, into a Subway in Idaho. Apparently cowboys don’t like pasty white faux vampires stealing their fashion – who knew? (I will go into details another time, I promise).

#3 – Ahh, Fargo North Dakota where I almost froze my fingers off filling up the car with fuel. As soon birthed myself from the sleeping bag cocoon and stepped out of the car my fingers turned blue. It was -30C. I was sceptical that petrol would even come out of the pump, it was that cold. Bitter cold is such an odd experience for a person from a temperate climate. Unless you grow up with the cold you can never acclimatise to it – it’s always an inconvenient novelty – like snow on a footpath. No Beastie Boys reference. Just wanted to share a story of my extreme physical toughness.

#4 – As a small-town girl from Australia I was overawed by my first glimpse of Chicago. It seemed like a huge, menacing place, especially considering I saw it for the first time when it was all dark and sinister looking. It reminded me a lot of Gotham City. I can’t recall what I was listening to at this point but I know I had learned all of the lyrics to Bodhisattva Vow (track 19. Ill Communication) somewhere between Milwaukee and Chicago that night by listening and rewinding the tape countless times. To this day I still know all the lyrics to this song and I get chills whenever I listen to it.

“With the interconnectedness that we share as one
Every action that we take affects everyone
So in deciding for what a situation calls
There is a path for the good of all”

#5 – This last memorable moment happened on the way back to Vancouver. I was driving on a freeway somewhere outside of Chicago, cruising along at speed, when suddenly I realised that the cars in front of me were stopped. I slammed on the brakes so hard and avoided another accident by millimetres. I don’t recall the speed limit being ridiculously fast, it’s just that drivers are way more aggressive and they drive with a purpose in Chicago. You need your wits about you when you’re driving there. Admittedly, I was a little slow and full of turkey, truffles and other festive delights, but thankfully no bang, crash. I was listening to Gratitude (track 4. Check Your Head) as I shoved the headphones off my head and tried to regain composure. I also remember it was a lovely, sunny day and I drove like Miss Daisy through the rest of Illinois.

“Good times gone but you feed it
Hate’s grown strong you feel you need it
Just one thing do you know
What you think that the world owes you
What’s gonna set you free
Look inside and you’ll see
When you got so much to say
It’s called gratitude.”

I look back at this time of my life in wonder. It’s hard to imagine that I ever did it any of it, especially considering the person I am now, suffering through my mild social phobias and peculiarities. These days I’m nervous just driving to the shops. Where did I get the balls to drive 4000+km? The current me is in complete and utter awe of the me from 13 years ago. That me was a real winner. Road trip anyone?

P.S. Vancouver, I miss you.

So as a part of the whole craft extravaganza last weekend I made this simple garland from Nicole’s instructions. I’ve made it relatively long – about 2 metres I’m guessing but I’m not sure where to put it so I have it draped over my inspiration board (which I also decorated) for the time being. You should give the garland a try – very easy and the templates are lovely!

I actually sat down and did some craft on Saturday – for the first time in a long time. I don’t make a lot of time to create – not like I used to anyway. It was good just to sit down and cut and fold and slice and paste. Simple things.

I spent some time making some cute little bows for the Christmas presents I’m making. Have a look at the tutorial here if you’d like to have a go. I made a lot of them that didn’t look quite right but I think the one above looks pretty cool. I used ads out of some old magazines which I think looks pretty cool.

I also tried making some origami stars. I had the brilliant idea of creating a cascading curtain of origami stars that we could hang in our hallway as a nice festive greeting when people come over. Unfortunately they take a little longer than anticipated but this could be because I was using paper that had a bit of weight to it. I might try using some regular weight paper to see if that helps. They are quite small too – probably about 2cm high. Very cute.

I was so excited to receive the above parcel from my friend Nicole (Craftapalooza). I love, love, love getting mail that brightens up my day. I wish everyday I could go to the mailbox and find something magical. Thanks Nic! xxxx

So we found the culprits for the recent let’s-bite-holes-into-some-yummy-tomato-plants business. Caterpillars. Quite a few of them actually. They make my skin crawl – even worse than spiders. Ewww.